The Fog of Desolation and the Sufficiency of Grace

July 30th marks the one year anniversary -- the sudden, tragic, and unexpected death of our daughter, Lynea.  Oh, my wife and I are not the first nor the last to walk through the shrouded, foggy labyrinth of anguish and loss.  However, in retrospect, I believe each person's experience is intertwined with those unexpected gambit of emotions, the unsuspecting and unexplainable moments of sobbing and tears, and the ofttimes disorientation grief saddles us with in our day-by-day struggles with sorrows, memories, and other endless questions, angers, and doubts. 

Imagine yourself driving in a dense fog--visibility near zero, and yet, you must continue to drive through the cloud of uncertainty. What hazards lie in the roadway?  And yet, you press on.  The fog bank thickens, driving may be perilous but you have no choice.  That is how I define and envision much of my past year.  Except for one very important truth - one day the mist, haze, and fog evaporates.  How?  Why? Only God knows and I will be the first to say that along all the pathways grief meanders, in reality and in the mind, my Lord never left me to my own devices for the invisible Hand of Providence kept me focused on His love and grace even when I felt abandoned in this new wilderness experience.  He interceded by placing faithful family and friends to pray, support and comfort me; He open His Word to illuminate my mind as to His purposes; and He gave me the grace to awaken another morning, take another step, and turn my sorrow into peace,  Lagniappe is not restricted to business in this transient life but is a spiritual unction or that little extra gift of grace we desperately need to complete our journey as we "...work out our salvation with fear and trembling."  Philippians 2:12b (ESV).
 
The alternative is dismal and destructive.  Consider if someone decides to turn inward and reclusive holding to an introspective view that nobody could possibly understand our griefs and our emotions, then pity and bitterness exert control with a ruthless dominance leaving in its wake a life diminished and/or reduced to mere existence. 

Last week, for whatever reason, I walked out of the fog of despair into the light of peace.  Accident?  Just lucky?  Chance on my side?  Not at all for with my faithful wife who suffers the same pain and loss, prays with me with thanksgiving for what we had and for His continued goodness -- all because of the benevolence of the Father.  We are also learning to walk humbly in the fear of the Lord, praying without ceasing, and remember the words of David in Psalm 23:4:  "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for you are with me...." (ESV).   The beauty of this ancient song is that a "shadow" cannot harm anyone and its existence is due to light -- the Light of the World, Jesus Christ, who casts away the shadows and brings us through the remnants of fear and doubt for He is there all the time.